I am ready to be done with saying goodbye to James in the evening or having to drive across town to see him. I am ready to start our life together. But I know it won’t be perfect, despite the fact that I get to marry my best friend, the very best of men.
Back during my year in Kentucky when I would go on long yoga walks with Amanda and pine about getting engaged, she would tell me over and over, “Marriage doesn’t fix things.” And even though I still have no first hand experience, I know she’s right. All marriage really does is put two very fallen selfish individuals with an untried idea of love under the same roof. Marriage means a forfeit of independence, and an end to individual decision making. Marriage won’t fix the fact that I like to buy lots more clothes than James, that he thinks the floor is an appropriate spot to store laundry, or that we have very different tastes in a whole number of things. In fact, marriage will probably exacerbate our differences. But it also gives us the time to work them out. Through the grace of God, marriage will act as a crucible to burn out (hopefully) all that is selfish, unloving, and ungrateful in us both.
This past week James and I got the keys to our apartment (!!!!!) and this weekend we headed over to paint the bedroom before starting to move stuff in. Before painting, we brushed prayers for our home on the walls. We have painted benedictions into the foundations of our home. So may they be in our lives.