Vacating: This man.

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You knew it was coming, didn’t you, that mushy post where I get all sappy and newlywed. Well, it’s here.

After an eternity apart (ok, 11 days) where James was in DC and I was in KY, being back with James was arguably the best part of this vacation. I want to pause and give some marriage advice (since you know, I’m super qualified): marry someone you like hanging out with. I know that sounds super obvious, but I am constantly surprised by the number of couples I meet who just don’t seem to enjoy hanging out together. Life can’t always be big romantic gestures. Sometimes it is just two friends living normal life well and laughing at things. I believe that marriage is a forever thing, which means that there is a lot more time in there for hanging out than over the top romantic times. And if you are one of the couples who doesn’t actually like to hang out with each other, chances are pretty good that other people aren’t really going to love hanging out with you either.

Our vacation was set up so that we would have a week with my whole family there, and then James and I would have a couple days alone at the cabin before Bethany came to join us. The idea was that we were tacking a little early one-year anniversary trip onto the end of family vacation. These days were to be filled with romantic picnics by alpine lakes, soaking in the hot tub, and candlelight dinners by the fire, obviously.

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Unfortunately our plan didn’t take into account two pasty kids in the mountains who forgot to wear sunscreen.

This meant that when my family left, James and I settled onto the couch to spend two days nursing sunburns. Picnics were replaced with ice cream eaten straight from the container, hot tub soaking exchanged with aloe application, and the fireside cuddling isn’t really sunburn friendly. Instead, we finished up season three of 24, read books, and played pool (James played- I just lost). In the middle of our shamefully long 24 marathon – season 3 by the way, the one where everyone dies of that super weird virus that first takes victims by making their noses bleed uncontrollably – James got a high-altitude nose bleed that refused to stop. For three hours we held tissues and watched people bleed out on TV, punctuated by occasional calls to my mom to make sure James wasn’t dying. Instead of finishing our evening with dancing under the stars, we spent it with stuffed-nose James playing DJ while I did ridiculous interpretive dance around the kitchen.

But those two days together were still perfect because I like just hanging out with him. I like laughing with him, talking about books, getting engrossed in the same tv shows, and singing stupid songs in the car. I liked having him to talk to on our hikes, to carry the pack and share granola bars. I liked hearing him talk with my family and losing to him in most of the games we played (ok, I also liked beating him and gloating a couple times too). I married someone who I don’t just love; I also like him a whole lot.

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So marry someone with whom you like to hang out, because you never know when a romantic weekend will become a sunburn nursing, nose bleeding, ice cream eating, TV watching marathon.

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10 Responses to Vacating: This man.

  1. E. Henry says:

    I especially enjoy your posts about marriage. Once again, I feel such a link to you because we are in similar boats. ;-) Your posts about marriage always make me smile and feel so happy. :-)

    I wanted to LAUGH OUT LOUD while I read about the nose bleed but Scott is sitting here on the phone and that would have been terribly rude of me. So, I just grinned – REALLY BIG. :-D You two are perfect together! Thanks for such a fun post!

  2. beverley garrsion says:

    i can relate to this, when my husband robert and i got married in vegas in 2007 i wanted to look nice when we went out so i wore these white wedges i wore with my wedding dress, well i decided they would look nice causal so i wore them out as we walked along the strip, lol robert told me before we left you really should change your shoes of course me being me said its ok ill be fine i wanna look nice, well i should have changed them from walking a long distance i got huge blisters on my feet, then when we finally got to a restaurant, we sat down and ordered my feet were killing me, our food came i tried to eat but my hot turkey sandwich was kinda dry, needless to say my food got stuck in my throat and i choked that was pretty horrifying, while robert is banging on my back i was making gasping noises too loud i guess and well, without going into anymore detail i cleared the place, lol couldnt help it, miraculously i couched really good and cleared my throat, i said well thats enough so we got up with me limping in pain left and i took my shoes off walked around barefoot the rest of the night and went back to our hotel, that was our wedding night lol so here we are still having adventures 6 yrs later

    • Hannah says:

      That is too funny!!! We women are never good with choosing practical shoes. How come the cute ones are so uncomfortable???

      • beverley garrison says:

        hannah it is true about cute shoes they are on average very uncomfortable, so now in the summer i wear flip flops all colors from old navy lol

  3. angie stone says:

    I’m glad that you married someone you like. I like him too.

  4. Tina says:

    Love this! Just stumbled into your blog and really enjoying your posts! :D

  5. So my husband actually found your page through someone posting your “My Husband isn’t my soulmate” blog which I totally dove into, because i’m right there, and loved it. Then obviously kept reading your blogs, mostly just the ones under photography because thats my second favorite thing to do next to writing. Nevertheless to think you both are awesome and totally got this marriage thing down. We just got married this past June 2nd so were really fairly new, but i can’t help be in 100% Agreement that you have to love just being with the person for marriage to work, but even more that Jesus is the Full on Center!! Figuring our hobby is just being together, as well as yours :) haha, it shows that you are actually in Love with your best friend, not just hoping you’ll survive the rest of your life with this stranger! Keep at it Girl! Marriage is a journey for the rest of your life and opening a new white page everyday! God bless.

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