We have no hobbies.

James and I have no hobbies.

Back when I was teaching high school, one of my students asked me what James and I like to do together, and when I tried telling her that we just kind of like hanging out, she gave me that withering you-are-so-lame stare that high school girls of all cultures and tribes have perfected. Not much has changed since then.

I don’t mean that we don’t do stuff. We love taking walks, we can’t ever get enough time reading, we obviously like to watch some TV, and I’m slowly grooming my Pirates fan self (um, did you see that kid pitch 99 mph this week??? I can’t even think that fast.). We  also like to make up stories about the imaginary redneck community that we have invented, all centering around the adventures and exploits of one Troy Bobine who lives in rural Virginia. I contribute actual Southern redneck knowledge and James contributes snarky satire.

But none of these are hobbies, the type of things that you say when people ask what you all do together. We don’t bike or garden or pay softball or go to cool indie concerts that no one has heard of. We don’t go running together (Tried that. It was a disaster. James just gets really angry the whole time and pressures me to run faster so we can get it over with, which makes me all wheezy and irritated and totally incapable of reaching my running endorphin zen accompanied by my “Run it out Girl” playlist. ) or cook together, though we do very happily eat together, but I can’t count that as a hobby since that is like wearing a sign that says “Hi, we’re the Wegmanns and we plan on succumbing to the obescity that is plaguing America.”

And people, I love hobbies. I grew up doing drama, ballet, cross-country, horseback riding, youth group, speed shooting, academic team (yeah, I was cool), and art lessons, as well as my own games of Hannah the Budding Capitalist, which involved either trying to swindle my little brother out of his money, or devising all sorts of schemes to make money from unsuspecting neighbors and passersby.  When it came time to fill out those college applications where you brag about all the things you were involved in, I was ready.

James did his share of hobbies too. In fact, all of the Wegmann children did a frightening number of bizarre activities, the depths of which I am only slowly discovering. They made pottery, gardened, played every sport, volunteered to teach children to read, did speed skating, competed in the annual gingerbread house building competition, were involved in Boy Scouts, played instruments, and James worked the snow machine in the production of The Nutcracker.

And now? Now we make up tales about imaginary rednecks. Oh how the mighty have fallen.

But this is all about to change. Because in Colorado, we discovered our [highly probable but still potential until we do it more than once] hobby.  Colorado_96

My fascination with touching those squirming fish knows no bounds. You can tell that from my eagerness to give a smile so big that it shows all my teeth and then some. We did catch and release, and when James told me to “throw it back,” I took it very literally, hurling those shiny fishies through they air with such gusto that one might have not survived his catch and release experience.

Colorado_73

Listen up fishing world: The Wegmanns have found our hobby. We’re coming for you. We are prepared with Hannah’s strangely good casting prowess and her love of touching fish and James’ manly ability for everything else involved. We will be bringing snacks. fishing

Do y’all have any hobbies? Have you ever had to find a new one to share with someone in your life? This phenomenon is not of course reserved for spouses. I remember finding one of my closest friends through a Jillian Michaels shred.

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16 Responses to We have no hobbies.

  1. Amanda says:

    Um, eating together is a hobby. So is imagining together. Bonus points if your imaginings are snarky.

    But fishing is also good, I guess, particularly if you can stand to touch the fish. I am duly impressed, friend.

  2. Rebekah says:

    I hope eating together IS a hobby because then we can count it as one of ours. We just go for walks, watch movies, weed the garden, discuss NPR articles over dinner, laugh at our funny baby, read books, have friends over for ice cream, and listen to music while we wash the dishes. So we’re boring. (Aren’t most married couples? And yet we’re happy despite the boringness?)

    I did learn to like baseball because of Jared. Golf, I’m still a skeptic.

    • Hannah says:

      You should be skeptical of golf… it’s so boring (no offense Jared). And I feel like you have a get out of jail free card on boring because you created a little human being. : )

  3. Susannah says:

    Luckily we both work in politics so I’m counting campaign activities and political strategy as a hobby. If you both do the same thing for work, but you enjoy it and do it together, that counts as a hobby even if you’re getting paid, right? We do enjoy a lot of the same activities (skeet shooting, camping, hiking), but never have the time to indulge them. So if talking about the hobbies you mutually enjoy but don’t have time to indulge counts as a hobby, then we have two.

  4. First off, I love reading your blogs, Hannah. In true Southern Belle style, of course you would be bringing snacks. Love it.

    Michael and I, being the very seasoned married couple of two months that we are, have found we both really enjoy gardening, piano, camping, and daycationing (if you can count that one) where we basically just go to a different city every weekend that’s about 1-2 hours away and just explore it for the day. We’ve tried running together, but I’m pretty sure after about 5 minutes of me complaining about how much I hated it Michael gave up any hope of doing that together. We do enjoy biking together though, in spite of a nasty wreck a few weeks back on the Riverwalk in Cincinnati. Eating is also a favorite past time of ours, and that’s probably why I don’t like running. :)

    • Hannah says:

      If YOU were bringing snacks, they would be even better!!! I love following your adventures in different cities on Instagram… you two are so perfect together! : )

  5. Heidi says:

    I’m going to echo others’ declarations that things you name as “not really hobbies”, in fact, are. Because if they aren’t, we’re all really boring. We take walks every evening after dinner. It’s Callan’s wind-down time before bed; probably a more important bedtime routine than a bath, at this point. Plus it lets me and Alex catch up from the day and talk a dream a little; we walk in pretty places that foster nostalgia and happy thoughts about the future. :)

  6. angie stone says:

    I want to hear Troy stories……next time I visit, you can tell ME a bedtime story about your imaginary redneck.

  7. E. Henry says:

    So fun! Scott and I both enjoy cooking. Sometimes we have tried doing that together. It’s fun but we still have to learn how to work with one another in our adorable but small kitchen. We love taking walks, caring for our plants and herbs, watching something on Hulu, playing games, reading , and watching March Madness. We also both enjoy running but NOT together as I am slower, hehe.

    • Hannah says:

      Sharing kitchen space is ambitious… we have kind of just decided it is mine, with the exception of James’ coffee corner which I avoid like the plague.

  8. Pingback: Last weekend. | The Art in Life

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  10. Nenna says:

    I really needed to read this. It is wintery and dark in the UK and I am feeling guilty about my total lack of interest in doing ANYTHING weekday evenings. I love to do pretty much all the things previous commentators have said, cooking, eating, watching, listening, reading, walking etc..but did not classify them as hobbies, was feeling the ‘lounging around guilt’, not anymore! Thank you, great blog.

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