21 weeks.

21 weeks-1Oh you know, just popping in with some bump photos in the snow that I took in the 4 minutes that I wasn’t wearing leggings and a shapeless sweater all weekend. Because as I told James:

“I need you to take a bump shot of me. I can’t master that whole mirror selfie thing without looking really dumb — plus we don’t even have mirrors unpacked yet!”

“You know that our kid will have zero interest in looking at these photos, right?”

Ah husband, someday you will learn that logic bears little sway over the compulsive first pregnancy bump shots- shots that I will probably stop sharing with the public once I hit the whale stage of that final month. But for now- shivering in the cold it is.

Last week was one of the landmark ones in pregnancy (My brother in law: “So…. being in pregnant is like a big deal, right?” YES. YES IT IS.). It marked 20 weeks, halfway through, and that big fancy ultrasound where gender is revealed and we make sure that we are having a baby and not a puppy, as I recently dreamed. But since last week was also the craziness of moving and preparing for snowzilla, this special milestone didn’t get its own fancy bump documentation, so I am tossing up 21 weeks as close enough.

Seeing our baby on that screen was amazing. I mean, yes, I didn’t know what I was seeing half the time, but as soon as the tech told us that we were looking at kidneys or a liver or the brain or whatever, I instantly recognized our baby as having the cutest organs there ever were. And I hate to brag or anything, but the doctor couldn’t stop praising the textbook perfection of our kid’s umbilical cord insertion, and you better believe that I will be including that on college apps. When we got a look at the face, I realized that I had seen it somewhere before. Here, in fact, you can see an uncanny ressemblance at what the face looked like, thoroughly annoyed at the entire process. The ultrasound also confirmed what my long-limbed husband and I already knew: we will be birthing a spider baby with appendages that go on for days.

We opted to have the tech write the gender down for us to open together later. I’m not into the gender reveal party thing, as I wanted it to just be James, me, and all my preggo hormone-driven emotions. Thus, after a lengthy Trader Joe’s run, we sat on the couch and opened the envelope to find that we are having…

…a boy! Which, I might add, was exactly as I had predicted, given my strict Old Wives tales research and gut instinct, aided by a couple dreams (including the puppy one- it was twins, one human boy, one cute puppy).

I have all sorts of emotions about being a boy mom. I am thrilled, because that ultrasound showed a healthy boy who will come into our lives and give all later children the older brother that I always loved having. I always felt secretly superior growing up thatΒ IΒ had an older brother, and I cannot wait for any other kids to enjoy that. I am excited to watch James and this little guy be best friends, and I am pumped about the energetic fun that playing with little boys entails. My own love of dinosaurs, competitive games, building forts, and Star Wars is about to come in very handy.

And yet, there is something so daunting about being a boy mom, about having the responsibility to teach this boy how to stand up for those less fortunate, to respect women, to be strong and yet humble, and love the Lord. To teach him a correct view of manliness in a world so often wrong about what it means to be a man. Girls seem easier, because I am one. They are familiar. And in my opinion and observation, the mom culture objectively prefers girls. The mom and baby world seems inherently more inclined to hair-bows and girl dates than to baseballs and wild games. When you tell other moms that you are having a boy, they usually respond with some variation of “James must be so excited” or “you might have a girl next time!” On one hand, this is a triumph of feminism, as it means that we live in a culture and country that wants daughters and views them as equal citizens. But on the other hand, it leaves us expectant boy moms feeling a little let down, not by the babies we carry, but by something we can’t even put our finger on, by feeling excluded from the feminized world of prenatal exuberance.

But I can put my hand on my stomach, and think about the baby growing there, the son who will make me a boy mom and show me how awesome it’s going to be.

Baby boy, we have zero names for you and the theme for your nursery is currently “cardboard boxes of things that we still don’t know what to do with.” The only things we have purchased for you are an entire winter wardrobe for next year of bear suits and beanies with antlers, as one of your parents got a little carried away with some end of season sales — I’ll let you guess which.

But we are so thrilled that you are ours, our boy.

21 weeks-6

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30 Responses to 21 weeks.

  1. J.R. Baldwin says:

    Congrats Hannah!!! I don’t think I realized how close we are in due dates – I’m 23 weeks, and we’re also having a boy!! Oh, the bump pictures… we have the worst mirrors for selfies, so I actually have yet to get a bump picture. (Husband out of town!) You look amazing!!!

    • Hannah says:

      Yay for close due dates and boys!!! And I feel like I should represent the bump for first baby…. but you are on #3 so you can totally phone it in. : )

  2. Heidi says:

    Well, I respond with “boys are SO FUN!!” because they are. And boy clothes, no matter what anyone says, are adorable. Think of suspenders and denim overalls and little sailor caps…plus your house will be full of bouncing balls, and they giggle at the gross noises that you’re embarrassed to make in front of you girlfriends (well, most of your girlfriends…other moms understand), and I can’t even describe the sweetness when little boys love on their mamas. I’m so excited for you! πŸ™‚

  3. E.H says:

    Not like this matters, since I’m not even a mom. But! I just have to say, I have always wanted a brood of all boys and one girl. I know that God’s plan is far superior to mine, but that is my hope and dream. I’m so excited for you! I hope I will be a boy mom first time around when my turn comes. ❀ I was totally unaware of the more "girl-friendly" culture among moms. I'm relieved to learn about this now rather than when I'm pregnant for the first time. I always appreciate a heads up about these things! From what I'm seeing here in the south, it tends to be a more "womanly" culture overall. It'll be interesting someday…

    • E.H says:

      AND CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN!!!! πŸ˜€ Now I need to stop procrastinating and do my meal planning… EEK!

    • Hannah says:

      It totally matters!!! Plus, with your nanny years, you know WAY more than me!

      And I’m not sure why it is that way, but I’ve discussed it with some mom friends and we all agree. I think that it’s because moms want a buddy like themselves, which makes total sense!

      • E.H says:

        I guess that explains the confused look on mom’s faces whenever I rejoice with them if they’re expecting a boy. Girls are tons of fun…but I must admit that as a nanny, I have found that boys are far easier. You’ll love having a boy!

  4. Stephanie says:

    Congrats! I’m pregnant with my second boy (so many crazy comments when you tell people you’re having another boy) but being a boy mom/mom in general is amazing. The emotions that come with pregnancy and finding out the baby’s sex are complicated but it is all so meant to be once they arrive!!

  5. Yay Baby Boy Wegmann! I always think of boys as being easier to raise, simply because of hormones. And because my mom said so. And I love seeing mommas with their baby boys! So yes, he and James will have that special guy bond, but you’ll always be his mommy, and I think that’s pretty amazing. Plus, tiny tuxedos and bow ties!

  6. Congrats! How exciting!!

    xox

  7. Shannon says:

    Congratulations! We don’t know what Little Two will be yet, but I agree that there is something rather intimidating about having a boy. I have no doubts you will do great, though πŸ™‚

  8. csl says:

    You are ten kinds of cute! I have two boys, currently 6 and 9, and they are a riot! You will love your little guy’s rough and tumble ways…and his special-for-mama-only cuddles. Boy names are HARD, in my opinion. We had a short list for both my boys but neither of them were officially named until about 30 hours into life when we could begin to see their personalities (as much as is possible in 30 hours.) The names we chose have meanings that are spot on, and I think waiting, and God’s guidance were huge factors in in their names being so perfectly apt!

    • Hannah says:

      How are boy names SO HARD???? Our theory is that it is hard to be creative, without giving a boy name that sounds kind of stupid. With girls, you can get all flowery and no one bats and eye…. but boy names start getting weird when you veer too far away from classic.

  9. Abby says:

    Hannah,

    You are going to be a great boy mom. πŸ™‚ Also, you should really read Bringing up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman. It is hilarious, insightful, and very common sense.

    • Hannah says:

      See, I think I might be the greatest Debby Downer on the web, but I am VERY skeptical of that book. I should read it, but a year of nannying and teaching elementary school in France showed me that French kids are not in the slightest better raised than American kids. Their common pitfalls are different, and the culture treats childhood very differently (so differently that I would argue you CAN’T raise a French style kid stateside), but not objectively better. Like here, there were demon kids and angel children, and both types had days where they were totally different.

      But, I really should just cave and read it even if just for the entertainment!

  10. Elizabeth says:

    I want to second the recommendation to read Bringing up Bebe. I am not even a mom yet and I thought it was fascinating. Plus, it takes place in Paris!

    Congratulations on a baby boy!

    • Hannah says:

      Thanks!

      As you can see in my comment above, I am very wary of everyone’s love of that book…. but I guess I need to actually read it first to be qualified to judge!

  11. MH says:

    For me, before the child is born, the gender is almost all that is known about them, and the tendency is to make so many assumptions based on that. But once they are born, gender is just part of the little person they are.
    I have twin boys who are 10, and a little boy who is 3. I grew up with 1 sister and fully expected to have daughters of my own. With both those pregnancies my husband strongly wanted to learn the gender, so we did. I will admit to feeling some disappointment with the gender – but NOT with who they turned out to be! With our last pregnancy, we did not learn the gender – and now have a little girl.
    Your son will be amazing – and lucky to have you as his mom!

    • Hannah says:

      So true! It still feels pretty unreal, and I think even more abstract when I think about this totally unknown boy in there… but I sure am excited about finding out more about him!

  12. angie stone says:

    You are the prettiest pregnant mom ever!! I think the little guy is already swooning in love with you. It will be so much fun to be a boy grandma.

  13. Pingback: When you really love someone, you have to take up the causes they think are important… | The Art in Life

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